Why I’ll Be A Mom Who Says Yes [A Lot More!] Often
It’s natural to say ‘No’ to your child often, because you are worried for her health. But is there a way to be a Yes Mom? Find out!
When someone offers my daughter a sweet or a chocolate, an ice cream or a cold beverage, she looks at me for approval. She wants to say yes but is worried that I might say ‘No’. Statistics suggest that moms say ‘No’ to a child 400 times on an average in a day. Isn’t this alarming?
Did you ever think about that before you said ‘No’ to your child? It’s almost like a reflex action for me when my daughter asks me for something I don’t want her to do. I do not think even for a second before I utter ‘No’ for many things. “No, don’t run fast, you might fall”. “No, don’t swing too fast, you might get hurt!” “No, do not eat an ice-cream, you might catch a cold!” “No, do not get wet in the rain!”
These are just few examples of the times we might be saying ‘No’ to the child. It happens, and it’s natural; we as mothers are concerned about our child’s well-being and hence we say ‘No’. My daughter, Mishti is a swimmer and I am always concerned about her health as she is in the swimming pool for 3 hours daily. I restrict her from eating sweets and drinking cold beverages, as I don’t want it to affect her health. That is my reason for saying ‘No’. However, I felt that it was disturbing my relationship with her. She was turning fearful and had started hiding things from me. She would secretly eat a chocolate from the fridge. She
would have a sip of cold water when I was not around at home. It was an eye opener for me. I had to change my behaviour immediately.
Since the past few days I have been reading a lot about the #YesMom campaign. A lot of celebrities like Sushmita Sen, Mandira Bedi shared their own journeys and I thought if they can so can I. I decided to take up the #Yeschallenge and consciously decided that I will not say ‘No’ directly to my daughter. I need to do things differently. I need to communicate with her positively. I do not intend to be the ‘Bad Cop’. I do not want be labeled to be a ‘No’ mom. I will try and be a #YesMom./h3>
Luckily, the #YesChallenge helped me gain perspective. I read about the experiences of other mothers as well as expert opinions from doctors and psychologists. I also had the privilege of attending the Cipla ActivKids Immuno Booster launch on #YesMom day on behalf of Women’s Web. The panelists included Dr. Sapna Zarwal, who is a renowned counsellor, Psychologist and educational expert; Dr. Deepa Bhandarkar who is a practicing general pediatrician; Niti Desai who is a dietician and Mandira Bedi, well-known actor, fashion designer and mom to a six year old son.
Panel Discussion For Being A #YesMom
The insightful discussion on how to be a #YesMom guided me to make me a better mother, and will help improve my relationship with my daughter. Dr. Deepa rightly pointed out that we need to respect the child’s taste buds. She suggested that we give them a right to choose the food they want to eat and not worry unduly about a child catching a fever. She said that fever is a healthy sign – it is the body’s natural mechanism. The antibodies work to weed out the toxins from the body and if the body fails, it is then that doctors give antibiotics. So, do not be scared or worried when your child gets a fever.
Dr. Sapna recommended parents to give children food in small portions. She said that lack of proper nutrition triggers behavioral changes in the child. So, a parent needs to be conscious when a child suddenly starts throwing tantrums or becomes cranky frequently. We need to monitor the sleep pattern of the child too. If there is a visible change in the behavior, expert
advice should be taken and if need be, supplements should be given to provide adequate nutrition to the child.
Dr. Niti busted some myths regarding the nutritional value of various food items. She added that its not only about eating greens, as is the basic attitude of parents. Instead, give your child purple, red, and orange too. Give them a variety of food to develop their liking towards food so that they enjoy eating. She added that a dining table should not be a battlefield. A glass of milk is not a be-all for protein. There are various other sources of protein. She said balanced diet is variety of food in moderation.
Mandira Bedi summed it all up when she said, “Continue saying ‘Yes’ to your child because you will realize that ‘Yes’ brings out wonderful things in your child. You discover things about your child that maybe you never knew!” She added that while amongst couples, there is a tendency for one to play the good cop and the other the bad cop, it’s important not to play the bad cop always. She also mentioned that she loved the product ActivKids Immuno Boosters after using it – since it is a tasty choco-bite packed with the essential immunity nutrients. Her son Vir too shared that he loved it!
After the meet I realized that prevention is the key. Proper healthy nutrition, rest, adequate sleep, and positive mental attitude around the child are important for raising a happy child. I decided to change my attitude. Now when my daughter asks for an ice cream, I will not say ‘No’. Rather I will say, ‘Yes, you can have it and you decide the day in the month when you want to have it. Ask your coach when can you eat it.’ I am sure if I give her the freedom to choose, she will choose the best for herself, as she loves to swim and will not want to miss her swim session even for a day due to ill health. Plus, regular exercise has improved her immunity and that helps her to stay fit. So, I know an ice cream or a cold beverage occasionally will not have an adverse effect on her health.
After attending the launch, I know that I also plan to give her ActivKids Immuno Boosters as a supplement to keep building her immunity and provide her with adequate nutrition. So, are you ready to be a #YesMom too?Do share your experiences with us after you take up the challenge. All the very best!