The Effects Of #Yeschallenge On My Behaviour
Being a mother is something most women dream of, but only a few are prepared to deal with when motherhood hits them. We are absolutely astounded and half the time not sure of what to do – relying on ancient advice from mothers, aunts and grandmothers. It’s a whole new life to take care of! One of the trickiest things about motherhood is, however, the influence you have on your child’s attitude and personality. With respect to this aspect of motherhood, today I will share with you my brush with the idea of how a single word can make a whole lot of difference.
I watched this video about how saying a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ can affect your parenting drastically. I have a sisterhood of moms on WhatsApp who I reach out to for help on motherhood. Someone shared this on one of the groups. The video below is an apt explanation of how saying Yes to your kid can help you experience not just a new way of parenting, but of living itself.
And I can tell you why this video will provoke you to step back once and think. Right from our childhood, the word ‘no’ has been quite a big part of our daily communication. And this is the not true for just you or me – it is just the way Indians are used to parenting. Unconsciously ingrained in the back of our minds, we keep applying this logic when we bring our kids up as well. Have you seen how Indian moms are so very wary about taking their kids for vacations or sometimes even out on the road? The constant fear of health issues keeps many mothers at home. On the other hand, if we take a look at Western countries, it is not at all uncommon to see moms take their children around wherever they go – whether grocery shopping or camping. Do you realize that their kids are doing just fine even with hearing ‘Yes’ for most of the things?
Saying ‘NO’ to most of the things is very easy, in fact very convenient, thing to do. Whether my children want to experience the first showers of the season or want to stay up late – saying ‘NO’ comes very naturally to us and that is exactly what the #YesChallenge aims to change. I took up the #YesChallenge after watching this video, and trust me – I did not regret it. I had been constantly saying NO to my children in fear of health concerns and their overall well-being but then I realized, especially after taking up the #YesChallenge, thaat saying NO is not the solution. Saying YES to my daughters has changed not just their behaviour but mine too.
Being a #YesMom was all about replacing my NOs with a YES every time my daughters asked me for something. However, for things I did not feel comfortable about, I would set conditions so that they can learn about the value of actions having consequences. For example, my younger daughter loves watching cartoons 24×7 but cannot mean that I would have to allow her to be in front of the TV around the clock. So, I set particular times and allow her to watch 2 shows across the breaks and never for more than half an hour in front of the screen.
Taking up steps like this was initially difficult, to be honest, because somehow, I just could not bring myself to say YES because I was constantly worried about them and something going wrong. Saying ‘Yes’ increased our trust in each other, and believe me when I say this – our communication is so clear that my daughters come asking me now for everything they want to do, no matter how mischievous it is.
Becoming a #YesMom has helped in a lot of ways:
- I’m much more confident as a mom and look for validation to the way I parent my child
- I’m more open to new changes in my daughters’ personalities
- I am slowly beginning to learn how to understand their needs
- I have more faith in them, making me worry less and leaving me more time to myself
- I am less exhausted since I don’t have to be constantly on my toes, running after them.
- I have more time to myself, wasting less time being scared for them, helping me focus better on both my work and health